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Toenail Moon Saloon

from The Future Is Fresno by Brian Kenney Fresno



This song was inspired by the special moons and saloons in Fresno. Somehow, "Rotting Persimmon Moon" never made it to the club. So many moons. You just know em when you see em. ( There is a moon themed bar district in Fresno, and Atonal Toenail Moon Saloon is the arch nemesis of regular Toenail Moon Saloon, and the patrons often have fights in the parking lot in betwixt the locations, over who has rightful title to the name, and classic rock versus serialism. It's a bitter rivalry. )
This is not unlike the situation between The Yacht Club and The Yacht Harbor Club in Santa Cruz Ca, or The Nyabinghi Dance Hall and it's threatening bar neighbors in Youngstown Ohio, That had food.
" Oh, GET A LOAD A THA FOLKS FROM CALIFORNYA...they want mayonnaise AND mustard fer ther burgers, LA TEE DAH!"

This song is dedicated to Dr Demento

Read more about this track:
Ron Smith was, an interesting man, love him or hate him, and he did his best to make people hate him, which created a window of love-ability for a seemingly loathsome character. Such a character, that I was writing a song about him before the pandemic, and this albums production. He was from Madera. One day, at the saloon, he saw me record something into my pocket recorder, and insisted on recording that little snippet." I've lived a very disgusting life, my name is Ron Smith." I randomly found it years after his death, so it was a voice from beyond the grave that had to be included here.
There is another magic moment: Eric Buterbough, a man that has served one million beers, recorded the bell part live on his stage, without any monitors, and instinctively made those extra hits that go with "calendar's all wrong". It's really quite amazing, and you wouldn't know if I didn't tell you. So I did.<<<<<Just now.

The end sequence of this song is a tribute to the end of Brian Salad Surgery, by Emerson Lake and Palmer, and features saloon regular John Alden's epiphany on watermelons.


When it's hangin in the sky
Like a toenail in your eye
And you need a drink like hell
Sure, ya gonna ring the bell
Sing a different song when the calendar's all wrong
Playin in the band, pumpin poison in the sand

Toenail moon
Toenail Moon Saloon
Seeya all real soon
At The Toenail Moon Saloon
Toenail moon
Toenail Moon Saloon
Gonna ring the brass spittoon
At The Toenail Moon Saloon

When it's
Floating like a Piper
Lookin like a dirty diaper
Cross your windshield like a wiper
With a stink it ain't be riper
Such a chronic viper
Cause you're always feelin hyper
Candy Zebra stripper kypers never hear the sniper

Dirty Diaper Moon
Dirty Diaper Moon Saloon
Fresno in the afternoon
Near the fracking waste lagoon
Dirty Diaper Moon
Dirty Diaper Moon Saloon
We'll be gettin poopy soon at the
Dirty Diaper Moon Saloon

When the
Moon looks like a breast implant
You're like an infant for an instant
And you need a federal grant
Just to feed your elephant
Needing a new rant cause your evidence is scant
Determined like an ant
For a rubber tree potted plant

Breast implant moon
Breast Implant Moon Saloon
Sling it in the brazoon
At the Breast Implant Moon Saloon
Breast implant moon
Breast Implant Moon Saloon
Getcher souvenir balloon
At The Breast Implant Moon Saloon

When it
Jars you to your bones
Cause it's usin all 12 tones
And it drives you to a rage
Cause it's written by John Cage
Wurst thing in your lives
But it's only Charles Ives
You may be a cow wrangler
But you'll hear some Willhelm Furt Wangler
Atonal moon
Atonal Toenail Moon Saloon
Gonna hear some Schoenberg soon
At the atonal toenail moon saloon
Atonal moon
Atonal Toenail Moon Saloon
Listen to some Webern soon
At The Atonal Toenail Moon Saloon


from The Future Is Fresno, track released November 7, 2020
Brian Kenney Fresno: Warr guitar, banjo, mandolin. steel guitar
Diane Kenney Albuquerque: violin, fiddle, screech box, 4 string cat fight.
Ryan Kenney Poughkeepsie: drums, vocals, jug, Attitude.
Ron Smith: Ron Smith
Eric Buterbough: bell
Felix Muzquiz: 12 tone row composer, atonal music enthusiast
John Alden: watermelon enthusiast
Nik Gustafason: "Souvenir Balloon", and BKF banjo lender


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Brian Kenney Fresno Fresno, California

My name is Brian Kenney Fresno, and I have this super fun solo ROCK show
where I sing modern TALES of urban legends and epics of the absurd- in a
sing along format, mostly about Fresno Ca, my home town, and everytime I say
"Fresno", everybody eats the raisins and says "WHOOO!" in a group
It's really fun!
Everybody laughs a lot!
... more

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