Get all 13 Brian Kenney Fresno releases available on Bandcamp and save 30%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of You’re Killing Me Fresno, Doc’s Lab Live Fresno, The Future Is Fresno, One Big Happy- FCC Friendly Version, Stop Hitting Yourself Fresno, Big Opportunity In Fresno, Further Adventures In Fresno, We'll Always Have Fresno, and 5 more.
1. |
7-11 Sushi
11:08
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7-11 Sushi
Cruisin in my Camaro
Got the munchies after smokin some pot
So it was 7-Eleven or Arby's when I pulled into the parking lot
Now 7-Eleven has Red Bull but Arby's has...
So it was looking like 7-Eleven when some dude almost hit my Camaro
And he was the driver of the sushi company that delivered to the store
And he was all Sweet Trans Am! Sorry I almost hit you there bro!
And I was all, no worries dude, but it's actually a Camaro, though
And he told me he was scared out of his mind
And he didn't know what to do
Because his boss knew that he knew
They just made the stuff out of road goo
Anything they could find
It was a multi million dollar enterprind
Mislabeling rancid possum
Chilled and finely sliced everyone thought it was....delicious
No one ever became suspicious
Same thing with the raccoon
If you usually don't eat them raw you'd never even no........tice
Now that's in Fresno
In other places they use actual fish
In fact they're emptying out the ocean
To fill demands for this delicious dish
"OH GOD I LOVE THE OCEAN!
I JUST WANNA EAT THE ENTIRE THING!"
Can't get enough of sushi
And all the wasabi you can bring
But
(Chorus)
7-11 Sushi?
Now you've jumped the shark
Burning down the ocean
Full ignition from the spark
Now it's a Sushi inferno
It's a seafood conflagration
A convenience store apocalypse
It's a messed up situation
Now you can see the exact second the whole situation went South
It's like you people can't be happy till the whole thing's in your mouth
What used to be something special, or normal if you're Japanese
Turned to a worldwide craze nothing could appease
Now you buy some for the baby, get some extra for the dog and cat
Insatiability for sushi unsustainable at that
Unsustainable at
Unsustainable
Unsustain
Unsus
7-11 Sushi sounds like champagne in jail
You came for gas and scratchers, now you're going all upscale?
You seem more like a corn dog person, stick with what you know
That sushi'd make your butt look fat, get your Slurpee and go
( L side men 7/8 ) (R side men 11/8)
(L side ladies 7/8) ( R side ladies 11/8
Seven eleven Sushi?
The whole concept seems pretty douchey
Whaddya gonna do?
Eat it in the parking lot as you sit and idle endlessly in your car?
No clear line of distinction
From our own path to extinction
At least the fish are somewhat smart enough to not do it to themselves
To themselves, to themsayee-elves, to themsayee-elves, etc
( Stop extincting yourselves!)
(Chorus)
So goes the ocean, so goes you
So goes 7-11, and all the sushi too
So goes humanity, after all we've been through
So goes the planet for the profits of a few
So go share values of The Southland Corporation
So go the Big Gulp, and the self serve nacho station
So goes the chili dog court and the worlds "worst ever" coffee
So go the Slurpees and the antique pornography....
Analog pornography.....
Acoustic pornography......
Hey! "Do you guys like fish sticks?
You must be a gay fish."
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2. |
Shareholder
08:00
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What shall we do with the oil shareholder now?
We went and murdered Monsanto
Put a pike right through their head
They renamed and rebranded it
Changed a molecule instead
Oh sure, go kill the CEO
But more than that’s gonna have to go
To make a memorable impression
Affect a long and lasting change
Who’s got blood on their hands?
(Mob) Shareholder! Shareholder !
Here’s our list of demands
Shareholder! Shareholder !
Invest elsewhere we don’t care
Shareholder !Shareholder!
We’ll find you anywhere
Shareholder !Shareholder!
We’ll find you, Shareholder
Of course they’ll find a new CEO
It’s crystal clear what else has to go
In an industry that has no conscience or shame
You profiteering jackals are the next best place to start
A perfect target for our fury and our blame
It’s like you sold out the world
For a half a cold ham sandwich
But your short term profits cancelled out your long term gain
Still, you stuffed yourself for lunch after your champagne brunch
And the rest of us have nothing left but pain
Any child can tell you
This can’t go endlessly on
Can’t eat ice cream forever
When all the ice cream’s gone
Buy low, sell high
Who cares how many die?
You could buy yourself a ticker tape parade
Through the empty canyons of your soul
Don’t care if all life ends
Gonna get your precious fucking dividends
You’d blow Satan and all his friends and cohorts
For some of those sweet, sweet, quarterly interest reports
So distant, what could be colder?
Shareholder !Shareholder!
Willfully watching the planet smolder
Shareholder !Shareholder!
Smash your house with a ten ton boulder
Shareholder !Shareholder!
Might not get any older
Shareholder !Shareholder!
Capital gains tax withholder
Shareholder !Shareholder!
That’s a lot of guilt for you to shoulder
Shareholder !Shareholder!
Let’s help you take a load off by lopping your hat holder
Only you possess the tools
To pivot away from fossil fuels
Divest and re-invest in non planet killing ways
Cause no amount of buffering will save you from the suffering
We and your guilt will follow you till the end of your days
We and your guilt will follow you till the end of your days
We’ll find you, Shareholder
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3. |
Plastic
14:10
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There’s a fantastic amount of plastic
Plastering the planet, blanketing the globe
There’s a fantastic amount of plastic
It’s in your rugged athletic footwear
It’s in your sexy bedroom robe
Islands in the ocean, mountains to the sky
It’s in every single person, it’s in everything you buy
Satellites like cigarette butts casually infecting space
Plastic’s the empty Dorito bag of the entire human race
We’re awash in plastic, drowning by the day
Designed for instant obsolescence, but to never ever go away
It’s a planetary scale abuse, trillions and trillions of single use
Burying us in our grave of overconsumption
And the flowers on our headstones we’re all made from plastic
And the cars that drove the mourners there, you guessed it, plastic
Electric safe and compactstic
With the promise of Spring at lastic
Yes, plastic was the answer to all the problems
Then the problem turned around and became plastic
Back to haunt us from the pastic
As the cumulative effects became drastic
Hey! I found your old toothbrush from when you were six years old!
It was right there with all the other plastic crap you’ve ever been sold
And it wasn’t going anywhere, or was it ever likely to
Combined with the plastic of the billions of all the people around you
And you can’t get away from it no matter what you do
All for the Saudi princes and the profits of Wall Street Avenue
So you’re got Senators in the plastics industry
Plasticity in the senators
Not to mention The Plastics Council or The Plastics Lobby
You got plastic in your food you got plastic in your children
You’ve got plastic in the center of your soul
Now there’s just no way to talk about plastic
Without being angry or sad
Unless you sing about hemp
And all the advantages to be had
One of the things that’s so rad
Anything that can be made from oil can be made from hemp
But the purveyors of greed aren’t farmers
That’s who they ran out long ago
What they sell instead is just a death pollution
When there’s always been a simple hemp solution
So they fooled us with a stupid triangle
For forty fucking years
Never recycled anything but only shifted gears towards making
YOU GUESSED IT, More Plastic!
Cause everyone felt so, placated
All their concerns had been ,vacated
It was cheaper to make it new, no actual recycling to have to go through
Just paid the redemption to pacify you
And so from the depths of the Mariana Trench, to the highest Himalayan summit
All you guitar playin heroes, it’s in your picking hand as you strum it
It’s in the hot water hoses of your house if you re-plumb it
It’s in the title of this song years from now when you still hum it
(12 tone crowd choir, boys against the girls)
Plastic you, Plastic me, Plastic us, Plastic we.
Plastic, It’s what we do, it’s inside of you, it’s never far, it’s who we are
It’s who we serve, not what we deserve
While hemp’s the clear path forward
As you humanity positions itself toward
Cleaner transitions toward future solutions
For the threatening scourge of plastic pollution
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4. |
Aquapocalypse
09:42
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When you come to the realization
It’s the end of our civilization
When you connect the dots
Aquapocalypse, that’s the word
Today they nudged an asteroid
A hundred gazillion miles away
In the hope they could save humanity
From being smashed by it one day
They measured mountains of math
To compute its future path
Knew where it had been, to know where it was going
Quantum calculations on a galactic scale
Compared to the fairy tales and horse shit
Those other guys have been throwing
It’s a Dyer situation yet some still deny it showing
It’s a drier hotter nation and it shows no sign of slowing
Aquapocalypse, Aquapocalypse
It’s a killer little silly word that just rolls off of your lips
Just sayin it makes you thirsty and swill down another beer
Sing and dance a happy song about how the end is near
Aquapocalypse, Aquapocalypse
NASA tried to tell us
Fresno would be an uninhabitable wasteland
Even worse than the one we know today
Like The Mayans and The Toltecs
And even now out by Chowchilla
You can see the drought destroying our whole way
Nothing short of civilization ending
No campaign of reality bending
No amount of fossil fuel defending
Can change the inev
Can change the inevita
Can alter what NASA learned through all their massive spending
Aquapocalypse, Aquapocalypse
Get yourself some salsa and a bag a chips
Just enjoy the show, cause here we go
Don’t even stand a chance without a lotta H20
Yeah we’re gonna fry, all will die
Ain’t never leavin Fresno even though we try
Just can’t get away to Morro Bay
Without adding to the problem that we face today
Slowly dyin a thirst might sound like the worst
But before you go insane, here’s what gonna happen first
When you start to hallucinate
You know you’re almost there
Feel like you’re spinning on The Tilt-O-Whirl
At the Big Ol’ Fresno Fair
But you can’t even get a Pepsi
A cinnamon roll, or soft taco
A frozen banana or ice cream
Cause it’s only a dehydrated delusion
Just a feverish daydream
and you’re all
(Choreographed section)
Outstretched arm
Crawling on your knees
Stare into the sun begging for “water, please!”
Grab you throat
Smack your lips
Point your sunburnt trembling fingertips
Ass out
Shake your hips
Now you’re doin the Aquapocalypse (repeats 3X)
Now you’re doin the Aquapocalypse—-
Now The USA should just invade Alaska
Blast apart the glaciers
Harvest all we need
Icebergs on a train to Fresno
Just for growin raisins, watering our weed
Slush for makin Slurpees, suds for washing cars
Puddles for our driveways, ice cubes for our bars
Flushing down our toilets, overwatering our lawns
Cleaning out our ears, filling up our bongs
Brewing crafty beers as Aquapocalypse nears
Or Ice cubes just sold separately as Alaskan souvenirs
I guess we had a good run
I know I had a lot of fun
Driving my truck around playing shows for everyone
So apologies to the children
You should have been born sooner
Before you even got to play, the game was done
(Chorus 1 and 2, transitions into “Not St Thomas” Aquapocacalypso.)
When you come to the realization
It’s the end of our civilization
When you connect the dots
Aquapocalypse, that’s the word
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5. |
Six Lanes To Pismo
13:53
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We need to help out others
Understanding that's not hard
We need more public housing
Just "Not In My Back Yard"
I'll hang out with your prostitutes
I'll even wash your feet
Just don't put in the high rise housing
Where Shaw and Glen Avenue meet
Now compassion is a virtue
But in Fresno that can hurt you
We all need human dignity
And housing at an affordable price
But for the property in question
You know the project's just too large
And you might be right if you thought
Some lunatic's been left in charge
Soon you'll have seven stories staring down
In some suburban sucker's side yard
With a little booth by your bedroom window
For the armed security guard
And after every car drives through
The iron gate slams hard
This is what the signs say in everyone's front yard
Traffic, Pollution, Congestion!
Traffic, Pollution, Congestion!
Quiet residential little neighborhood
Won't be good..
Inundated hundred daily trips
The word "insipid" rolls off your lips
The phrase "Insipid Urban Planning" rolls
It just rolls off your lips.
It'sinsipidurbanplanningit'sinsipidurbanplanningit'simsipidurbanplanning
Backed against a constant traffic jam
Instead they'll all drive by where I am
Tires squealing, fentanyl dealing
Sideshows on my quiet quaint lane
Diaper dumping stereo thumping diaperdumpingstereothumpingdiaperdumpingstereothumping
And we'll have
Traffic, Pollution, Congestion
Traffic, Pollution, Congestion
Oh man, don't get me wrong
I love single mothers and drug dealers
Just examining all the details, and the angles of this song
There's four....
You've got your development and re-development players
And a shocking lack of thoughts and prayers
From the big business churches that run this town
They offer political coverage for the powerful
Blessings for donations
Credibility to the corrupt culture of the construction corporations
And for all the tainted tithings that flow into their coffers
You know they're laundering good will for all the money Satan offers
For their diabolically evil public relations seeking clients
For developers in a Fresno, it's elementary political science
It's elementary, my dear Fresno
More pavement, More Jesus, Six lanes to Pismo!
More Pavement, More Jesus, Six lanes to Pismo!
Ok, you bougie rich entitled racists
Are always letting us know what you think
If there's a whiff of fairness for the under privileged
Oh, you're gonna make a stink
But no, not everything's about you
Or your self victimization
Or your economic stigmatization
Or your racial discrimination
Or your corruption served up Fresno Style
Or your Jim Crow laws held all the while
Or your ongoing red-lining
To which Whitey's always taken a shining
Like a child, I hear your constant whining
About people ( like you) that don't belong here
Or your fortified white guilt that you've translated into fear
Oh, actually it IS all about that and more
But mostly
Shelter, Affordable Housing!
Shelter, Affordable Housing!
"Hey! Let's form a committee!
We'll end homelessness in the city!
More profitable to pretend to be involved
We'll clear em out and call the problem solved
We'll get a grant and blow it
Don't need results to show for it
Cause in the profitable private sector
We do just what we please
Which is follow the trail of money
Motives never altruistic
No concern for housing homeless
Making money's more realistic
It's the public face of advocacy
Skimming and grifting bureaucracy
Whoops! We spent that money all on us?
Let's consult our records....
Paid for lots of studies
Got massages in Carmel California
Luxurious lunches at the winery where we all swore not to tell
Not to tell about our families European getaway no pay vacay
Paid for by the public well it's in our interest not to tell
It's inourinterestnottotellit'sinourinterestnottotell....
But to help the homeless go to hell
Cause they haven't ever bought a hot tub or a deck for me
Some snow tires, or hookers, or cheap business suits
Cocaine bricks and hookers from the South side
Or hookers all filled with cocaine
So we'll just deny them their humanity
And get our own signs manufactured
Getourownsignsmanufacturedgetourownsignsmanufactured
Get our own signs made that just say
More Studies! Fat Paychecks! Blue Ribbon Panels!
More Studies! Fat Paychecks! Blue Ribbon Panels! "
(Room quad-sected, encouraged to "Fight Like Hell ")
( Left Center) TRAFFIC, POLLUTION, CONGESTION!!
TRAFFIC, POLLUTION, CONGESTION!!
( Far Right) MORE PAVEMENT, MORE JESUS, SIX LANES TO PISMO
MORE PAVEMENT, MORE JESUS, SIX LANES TO PISMO!
(Far Left) SHELTER, AFFORDABLE HOUSING!
SHELTER, AFFORDABLE HOUSING!!
(Right Center) MORE STUDIES! FAT PAYCHECKS! BLUE RIBBON PANELS!
MORE STUDIES! FAT PAYCHECKS! BLUE RIBBON PANELS!!
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Brian Kenney Fresno Fresno, California
My name is Brian Kenney Fresno, and I have this super fun solo ROCK show
where I sing modern TALES of urban
legends and epics of the absurd- in a
sing along format, mostly about Fresno Ca, my home town, and everytime I say
"Fresno", everybody eats the raisins and says "WHOOO!" in a group
experience.
It's really fun!
Everybody laughs a lot!
... more
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